Jokes from Nasreddin Hodja

A immigrant - One day, a thief came to the house of Hodja and took everything he had except the blanket which covered him. When Hodja saw the thief carrying all his things away, he put his blanket over his shoulders and followed him. When the thief arrived at his own house, he turned back and saw Hodja. “What are you doing here?” he asked. “What am I doing here,” said Hodja, “you ask a thing like that? Didn't we move to this house?”

A very good Rider - At a dinner everyone was telling riding stories. “What are you going to tell us?” said the people to Hodja. Hodja who hadn't a real story, invented one: “When I was at the farm of my friend Mehmet, they brought out a mustang. It was a beautiful horse, but no one could ride it. First, one man tried, but he was unsuccessful. Then the other, then another, but nobody could ride it. The son of Mehmet tried but he was unsuccessful too. It was my turn at least. I caught the horse and of course...”

At that moment the son of Mehmet entered the room and the Hodja finished his story: “Of course I couldn't either.”

Gratitude - One day, when Hodja was working on his farm, a thorn penetrated his foot. “Dear God”, he said “thank you so much, what a blessing I didn't wear my new shoes.”

Having a Child - The people asked the Hodja: “Hodja, can a hundred year old man have a child?”and the answer came straight away: “If he has neighbors, 20-30 years old! He can!”

A heavy Coat - One night the people heard a frightful noise from the Hodja's house. They asked in the morning: “What was that noise?” “Oh, my coat fell downstairs.” “Can a coat make such a noise?” “If you were in it, like me, yes!”

Hodja's Dream - In his dream some people gave Hodja nine gold coins. Hodja wanted ten, so he refused them. Suddenly he woke up and saw that his hands were empty. He quickly closed his eyes again and said: “It's okay, I'll take nine coins.”

Hodja's Writing - One day a man asked Hodja to write a letter for him. “Where will the letter go?” Hodja asked. “To Baghdad”, said the man. “I cannot go there”, Hodja told him. “But you don't have to go. The letter will go there”, said the man and Hodja explained: “Nobody can read what I write. Therefore I must go there to read it.”

If I knew - One day Hodja's donkey got stolen. Hodja began to search it. While searching, he shouted a lot. The judge who heard that, asked him “Who has stolen your donkey, and how?” The Hodja became very angry and said: “If I knew the answer, my donkey wouldn't have been stolen!”

If it is a lie - One day a friend of Hodja asked him to count as a witness and said to him: “If the judge asks you 'did this man give away all the gold coins' you can tell him that I did.” They appeared before the judge and Hodja gave evidence that the man had indeed given away all the 'silver' coins. The judge accepted this and they were dismissed. Outside the friend said to Hodja: “Hodja, why did you say 'silver' instead of 'gold'?” “If it is a lie”, answered Hodja, “Does it matter, what it is?”

Mistakes in the book - At the time of Temur no one was allowed to carry a knife or a gun. One day the soldiers caught Hodja with a big knife. The head of the soldiers shouted: “Don't you know, that you are not allowed to carry a knife!”, “But, I use it to scratch out mistakes in the books.” “But why is your knife so big? “ “Because the mistakes are big! “

Let