HEAVY COAT

One night the people heard a frightful noise from the Hodja's house. They asked in the morning:
“What was that noise?”
“Oh, my coat fell downstairs.”
“Can a coat make such a noise?,”
“If you were in it, like me, yes!”
 

HEN
The Hodja had lost one of his hens. He searched it for a while, but it was nowhere. Then he took a small peace of black cloth and put it around the neck of another hen. People asked him:
“Hodja, what is this?”
“This hen is mourning for its mother !!!”
 

HODJA AND THE GOD
The Hodja was travelling from a long way away, he got very tired and decided to rest. Then he prayed:
“Dear God”, he said. “Please send me a donkey !”
A few minutes later, he saw a man riding on a horse and leading a young donkey.
The man came nearer, stopped beside him and shouted:
“You, leprous man! Instead of starving there, come on carry the donkey, it is tired.”
Although the Hodja said, that he was also tired, the tyrannical man beat him with a stick and so the poor Hodja took the donkey on his shoulders.

Then the man on the horse proceeded on his way. Everytime the Hodja slowed down, the man beat him and after many miserable hours, they reached the town, where the man let the Hodja go, without thanking him. Then the Hodja fall down on the earth and slept many hours. When he awakened he murmured
“Oh, God! What happened? Was it that I couldn't explain, or that you couldn't understand?”
 

HODJA'S DREAM
In his dream some people gave the Hodja nine gold coins, but Hodja wanted ten.-So he refused them. Suddenly he awoke and saw that his hands were empty. So he quickly closed his eyes again and said: “It's okay, I'll take the nine coins.”
 

HODJA'S WIFE AND HIS DONKEY

When his wife died, the Hodja became very sorry, but he mourned for her only a few days.
After a while his donkey died and he was even more sorrowful and mourned for him many months.
People asked him why and he answered:
“When my wife died, they all said, they could find a younger and better one for me, but when my donkey died, nobody offered the same service.”
 

HODJA'S WRITING

One day a man asked the Hodja to write a letter for him.
“Where will the letter go?” the Hodja asked.
“To Baghdad”, said the man.
“I cannot go to there”, the Hodja told him.
“But you don't have to go. The letter will go there”, said the man and the Hodja explained:
“Nobody can read what I write. Therefore I must go there to read it.”
 

IF I KNEW
One day the donkey of the Hodja got stolen. The Hodja began to search it. While searching, he was shouting. The judge who saw that, asked him “Who has stolen your donkey, and how?”
The Hodja became very angry and said: “If I knew the answer, my donkey wouldn't have been stolen!”
 

IF IT IS A LIE
One day a friend of the Hodja asked him to count as a witness and said to him:
“If the judge asks you 'did this man give away all the gold coins' you can tell him that I did.”

They appeared before the judge and the Hodja gave evidence that the man had indeed given away all the 'silver' coins.
The judge accepted this and they were dismissed.

Outside the friend said to the Hodja:
“Hodja Effendi, why did you say 'silver' instead of 'gold'?”
“If it is a lie”, answered the Hodja, “what does it matter, what it is?”
 

IMMIGRANT

One day, a thief came to the house of the Hodja and took everything he had except the blanket which covered him.
When the Hodja saw the thief carrying all his things away, he put his blanket over his shoulders and followed him.

When the thief arrived at his own house, he turned back and saw the Hodja.
“What are you doing here?” he asked.
“What am I doing here,” said the Hodja, “you ask a thing like that? Didn't we move to this house?”
 

JESUS IN HEAVEN
In a village where the Hodja was giving a speech, he told the people assembled there about Jesus, how he lived in the heavens. One old woman was very curious and asked the Hodja, what this Jesus ate in Heaven.

Now the Hodja had been in the village for almost a month, and no-one had offered him any food, and because of this he was rather angry. So he replied:

“You, silly woman, why do you ask what Jesus eats in heaven when you cannot remember to ask what the poor Hodja Nasreddin eats on the earth!”
 

LIGHT OF THE WORLD
During the birth of his children, the Hodja stood holding a lighted candle.
The first child was born, and as they were twins, after a while the second child was also born. Suddenly the Hodja extinguished the candle. 'Why' asked the attendant relatives. He replied:
“Because, while there was light, first child was born, and then another. Who knows how many more there may be!”
 

MAGIC PRAYER
When the Hodja was in bed, he heard a thief walking on the roof. He quickly thought of a trick to catch him.

He turned to his wife and said:
“One day when I lost the key and when you weren't at home, I said a prayer held on to the moonlight and jumped into the house from the roof.”

Then he said a short prayer.
The thief, listening to the Hodja believed to these words, so he said a prayer held on the moonlight and fall into the house. The Hodja caught him and ordered his wife to bring a rope.
“No need, Sir”, said the thief lying on the floor “As long as you have that prayer and I have that brain, I cannot escape.”
 

MANY HENS, NO ROOSTER
One day when the Hodja went to the baths, his friends wanted to play a joke on him. They each took an egg with them and came to the baths.
“Hodja Effendi”, said one of them. “Everyone will say “chuck-chuck-chuck” and lay an egg. The one who cannot do this must invite all the rest to dinner.”
The Hodja agreed and they began to put the prepared eggs underneath them. Then it was Hodja's turn. He shouted: “Cock a-doodle-do”
“What is that?” they asked.
“Do not so many hens need a rooster?” he replied.
 

MIRACLE OF THE TURBAN (old type of hat)
One day a man brought a letter to the Hodja and said:
“Hodja Effendi, please read it to me.”,
The Hodja saw that it was written in a foreign language and said:
“I cannot read that, it isn't written in Turkish.”
The man became angry:
“You are a teacher. You should be ashamed of your turban! You cannot read a letter.”
The Hodja put the turban on the head of the man and said:
“If the miracle is on the turban, take it and read the letter by yourself.”
 

MISTAKES IN THE BOOKS
At the time of Temur no one was allowed to carry a knife or a gun.
One day the soldiers caught the Hodja with a big knife. The head of the soldiers shouted:
“Don't you know, that you are not allowed to carry a knife!”,
“But, I use it to scratch out the mistakes in the books.”
“But why is your knife so big? “
“Because the mistakes are big! “