EAT MY FUR COAT
The Hodja was invited out to dinner. He went in his old clothes
and nobody was interested in him. When he found a few minutes to spare, he rushed
home and collected his fur coat.
When he came back, he was treated with great respect. Everybody wanted to speak to him.
When they sat down for dinner he said: “Eat, fur coat, eat!”
And he explained to the curious people:
“If this regard is for my coat, it must eat also.”
One night the wife of the Hodja said:
“Effendi, I heard somebody walking on the roof. I am sure that it's a thief who wants to enter the house.”
But the Hodja didn't care about it.
“First let him find something to steal. If he finds it, it will be easier to take it from his hands.”
OF THE STORIES
2000 years after the Hodja died, a grave cleaner came running to the Akshehir Mosque one day and said:
“Today I saw the Hodja riding on his coffin and he told me to come here and call you all to his grave. Those who do not come will die very soon.”
Everyone ran to the grave but the Hodja was not there. Then as they turned back they saw that the Mosque had been destroyed...
END OF THE WORLD
The Hodja said to his friends:
“Bury me feet over, when I die.”
They asked the reason for this and he explained:
“They told me that at the end of the world everything will turn over and if you bury me so, I can easily stand up at that time.”
One day the Hodja's friends came to his house and called him. But the Hodja, who didn't want them in his house, told his wife to say, that he wasn't at home. “But we saw that he entered the house”, said his friends.
The Hodja listening to them got very angry, he opened the window and shouted:
“You silly men! Isn't it possible, that this house has two doors? Can this poor man not go out the backdoor?”
At that time, the Hodja had two wives. They wanted to know whom the Hodja loved best.
They asked him. “If we went in a boat on the lake, and it sank, whom would you save?””
The Hodja turned to his first wife and said: “You know how to swim dear, don't you?”
OF THE SPECIES
One day, Sultan Temur came to Akshehir with his army which included many elephants. He gave one of these to the people of Akshehir to look after, but the poor people of the town were unable to do this.
As they were afraid of the Sultan, they went to the Hodja and asked him to go to the Sultan as their representative.
“Alright”, said the Hodja, “but I've one condition. Twenty of you must come with me.”
So, the Hodja in front and the others behind,
they departed on their way. But during the journey one after the other, they fled.
The Hodja, believing that they were following him went to the Sultan. He entered
the tent alone.
When the Sultan asked him, why he had come, the Hodja replied:
“The people of our town...”
And indicated with his hand where he believed the people to be. Then he saw that he was alone and continued bravely.
“Yes the people of our town... have taken pity on the elephant and if it is a female they want a male, and if it is a male they want a female so that it will have company.”
The Sultan was very pleased and said:
“As it is male, I will give you a female.”
When the Hodja went out, he saw the people who had run
“What has happened”, they asked.
And the Hodja replied;
“Good news, the female of the species will come also, it's on the way.”
One day, the Hodja was speaking to the Community and he said,
“Thanks God that he didn't give wings to the camel, otherwise you wouldn't have any sound roofs.”
One day, people asked the Hodja:
“To which sign of the Zodiac do you belong?”
He answered: “The goat.”
“What?” they said, “but there isn't any sign of the goat.”,
“when I was born,” said the Hodja, “they said to my Mother that I was a Capricorn.”
“There you are then, Hodja”, said one of the men, but the Hodja turned to him and said:
“I am 40 years old, so can't a Capricorn grow up to be a goat in that time?”
One day the Hodja was told to speak to the community. He came into the mosque, got on the high chair and set for a long time. Then he spoke:
“Dear community, I cannot remember anything to tell you”, he said.
His son, a clever boy, was sitting under the chair. He stood up and said:
“If you cannot remember what to tell us, can't you remember how to get down from that place?”
At a dinner everyone was telling riding stories.
“What are you going to tell us?” said the people to the Hodja.
The Hodja, who hadn't a real story, began to invent one:
“When I was at the farm of my friend Mehmet, they brought out a mustang. It was a beautiful horse, but no one could ride it. First, one man tried, but he was unsuccessful. Then the other, then another, but nobody could ride it. The son of Mehmet tried but he was unsuccessful too. At last it was my turn. I caught the horse and of course...”
At that moment the son of
Mehmet entered the room and the Hodja finished his story:
“Of course I couldn't either.”
GOOSE WITH ONE LEG
When Sultan Temur came to Akshehir, the Hodja went to bid him
welcome. Of course, he didn't forget the typical Turkish custom, and brought him
a roasted goose.
On the way to Temur, the smell of the goose and his hunger forced him to eat. So he ate one leg of the goose.
When Temur saw it with one leg he became very angry, because he himself walked with a limp and he was called 'Limping Temur'. He thought that the Hodja was making fun of him.
“Where is the other leg of this goose”, he shouted angrily.
“In our country the geese have only one leg”, replied the Hodja.
“Nonsense”, shouted Temur, Then he saw some geese standing in the sun on one leg. He ordered his men to chase the animals away. The geese began to run on both legs.
“You, lier!” shouted Temur. “They have two legs!”
“No, Sir”, said the Hodja. “If you were chased like that, you could grow an extra two and run on four legs”
One day, when the Hodja was working on his farm, a thorn penetrated his foot.
“Dear God”, he said “thank you so much, what a blessing I didn't wear my new shoes.”
HALF OF AN OCCUPATION
When the Hodja was a child, his mother sent him to work with a tailor. One year later young Nasreddin came back.
“What did you learn there, my son?” asked his mother.
“Oh, I learned half of the tailoring trade. I can tear down, so now I'll learn the second half, to sew the cloth.”
The people asked the Hodja:
“Hodja Effendi, can a hundred year old man have a child?”
“If he has neighbors, 20-30 years old! he can!”